I’m so tired, but can’t sleep!
- admin
- February 4, 2025
You’re exhausted. It feels like you’ve been running on empty all day, dragging yourself through the hours. But as soon as your head hits the pillow, your brain hits play on a -ending mental playlist. Sound familiar? If so, you’re not alone.
Many people struggle with this frustrating cycle. There are lots of reasons why it might be happening, but one you may not have considered is that something deeper could be at play – your circadian rhythm might be out of sync.
What is the circadian rhythm?
Think of your circadian rhythm as your body’s internal 24-hour clock. It doesn’t just determine when you sleep and wake but also regulates vital processes like hormone production, body temperature, and digestion.
But here’s the challenge – modern life, with its endless demands and artificial light, often ignores this internal clock. When your circadian rhythm is disrupted, your sleep suffers.
Take a moment to reflect: Take a moment to reflect:
● Do you find yourself tossing and turning while your brain races with thoughts?
● Are you reaching for caffeine during the day to stay alert, only to have it keep you awake at night?
If so, these might be clues that your circadian rhythm needs recalibration. But sleep struggles often don’t have just one cause.
Let’s look at some common culprits:
Sleepiness: The missing ingredient
Here’s an often-overlooked truth about sleep: being tired isn’t the same as being sleepy. You might feel physically drained or mentally exhausted, but unless your body is biologically ready for sleep, it’s not going to happen.
Sleepiness is your body’s natural signal that it’s time to rest, driven by two main factors:
1. Your circadian rhythm: This is your 24-hour internal clock that regulates sleep and wakefulness. It’s why you tend to feel drowsy at certain times of the day and wide awake at others.
2. Adenosine build-up: Adenosine is a chemical that accumulates in your brain while you’re awake, creating sleep pressure. The longer you’re awake, the more adenosine builds, making you feel sleepy.
If you try to go to bed before these two systems are in alignment – in other words, before you’re actually sleepy – you’ll likely end up lying there, staring at the ceiling, and wondering what’s wrong with you. And the more you worry about not sleeping, the harder it becomes to switch off.
What can you do?
If you’re not sleepy yet, it’s better to stay up and engage in something calming – like reading, journaling, or light stretching – rather than lying in bed frustrated.
Get up at the same time everyday and give yourself enough time to get the sleep you need. Once you’ve found a bedtime and wake time that match your biology, stick to it. This doesn’t mean you have to be rigid, but keeping a consistent sleep schedule, even on weekends, strengthens your circadian rhythm and improves sleep quality over time.
Stress and anxiety
If you’re lying awake at night replaying conversations or worrying about the future, you’re not just “overthinking” – your nervous system might be stuck on high alert, a state called hyperarousal.
Your nervous system plays a key role in how your body responds to stress. It has two main parts: the sympathetic nervous system (your “fight or flight” mode) and the parasympathetic nervous system (your “rest and digest” mode). When you’re stressed or anxious, your sympathetic nervous system takes over, keeping your body on high alert and ready to respond to danger – even if the “danger” is just worrying about tomorrow’s to-do list.
Normally, your parasympathetic system would step in to calm things down once the stress passes, but with ongoing stress, your body can get stuck in “fight or flight” mode (hyperarousal). This leads to the overproduction of cortisol, which keeps you alert and prevents the release of melatonin, the hormone that helps you relax and fall asleep.
Hyperarousal happens when your body stays in “fight or flight” mode even when there’s no immediate danger. Unlike temporary stress (like what you feel before a big event), this lingering stress can make it harder for your body to relax and switch off at night.
When you’re in this state, your body produces high levels of cortisol – the hormone that keeps you alert. During the day, cortisol helps you stay focused, but at night, it can interfere with melatonin and delay the process of winding down.
Over time, this imbalance can leave you stuck in a frustrating cycle: feeling exhausted but unable to sleep, with the lack of rest only making your stress worse.
What can you do?
● Try incorporating calming techniques like deep breathing or mindfulness in short bursts throughout the day to reduce stress levels way before bedtime.
● Consider journaling to offload any worries racing through your mind.
Try Progressive Muscle Relaxation (PMR)
The idea is to systematically tense and then relax different muscle groups in your body, helping you release physical tension and signaling your parasympathetic nervous system to activate (“rest and digest” mode).
Start at your feet and work your way up:
1. Tense your toes for 5–10 seconds, then release and notice the sensation of relaxation.
2. Move to your calves, thighs, and so on, gradually working up through your body until you’ve relaxed all major muscle groups.
Understanding how stress works is the first step to breaking the cycle and giving your body the chance to truly rest.
Hormonal imbalances
If you’re a woman, hormonal changes could be playing a role in why you feel tired but struggle to sleep.
For instance:
● In the days leading up to menstruation, hormonal fluctuations can reduce melatonin production, making it harder for your body to settle into restful sleep.
● During perimenopause, levels of estrogen and progesterone – hormones that help regulate your sleep cycle – begin to shift. These changes often lead to difficulty falling or staying asleep.
Symptoms like increased anxiety or night sweats can add another layer of disruption. It’s a natural process, but it can feel overwhelming.
What you can do:
Understanding how your hormones affect your sleep is a great first step. You might need to experiment with strategies – like adjusting your bedtime routine or seeking support from a healthcare provider – to find what works best for you.
Caffeine
For many people, caffeine is a survival tool to get through a tired day. But it might also be the reason your nights feel restless.
Caffeine works by blocking adenosine, the chemical in your brain that makes you feel sleepy as the day progresses. At the same time, it triggers the release of adrenaline, which leaves you feeling energised or even “wired” when you should be winding down. While the effects of caffeine kick in quickly – often within 15 minutes – they last far longer than most people realize. With a half-life of 5–7 hours, that cup of coffee you had at 3 PM could still be in your system at bedtime.
What you can do:
You don’t need to give up caffeine completely, but consider the timing and amount. If you’re sensitive to caffeine, try limiting it to earlier in the day or switching to decaf after lunch.
Screen time
Many of us wind down at night by scrolling through social media or bingeing Netflix. On the surface, it feels like a harmless way to relax. But is it really helping? The content you consume right before bed can stimulate your brain, keeping it in overdrive when it needs to calm down. For example:
● Doomscrolling through bad news can spike your anxiety.
● Getting hooked on an intense drama can leave your mind buzzing long after the credits roll.
Additionally, screens emit blue light, which can disrupt your circadian rhythm by tricking your brain into thinking it’s still daytime.
What you can do:
Reflect on your pre-sleep habits:
● Is this activity calming me, or adding to the noise?
● Could I replace it with a book, meditation, or calming music?
By tuning into how screens impact your sleep, you can create an evening routine that helps your mind and body transition into genuine relaxation.
Napping
While naps can be helpful, how and when you nap really matters. The wrong nap strategy can make it harder to sleep at night and throw off your circadian rhythm.
The best time to nap is early afternoon, during your body’s natural energy dip. This is when your circadian rhythm signals a brief drop in alertness, making it the perfect moment for a short rest. Keep your nap to around 20 minutes to avoid feeling groggy and to make sure it doesn’t interfere with your ability to fall asleep later.
It’s also worth considering why you’re napping. If you’re regularly catching up on sleep during the day because of poor nighttime rest, it might actually make things worse. Napping too long or too late can reduce your sleep pressure leading to a cycle of struggling to sleep at night, feeling tired during the day, and relying on more naps, leaving you feeling stuck.
What you can do:
● Keep naps short – around 20 minutes – to avoid feeling groggy due to the risk of a longer nap tipping you into deep sleep.
● Avoid napping too late in the day, as this can reduce your sleep pressure and make it harder to fall asleep at night.
The key is to use naps as a quick boost, not a replacement for a good night’s sleep. By reflecting on your sleep habits and adjusting your approach, you can make sure both your naps and your nights are truly restorative.
Sleep disorders
There are over 80 recognised sleep disorders, many of which could explain why you’re feeling tired but unable to sleep. If you suspect a sleep disorder might be contributing to your difficulties, it’s worth consulting your GP for a thorough assessment and guidance on next steps.